Mom’s Mask on First

Let’s discuss a topic in which I have been struggling and I know other mamas, for that matter, struggle with on a daily basis.

It’s an ugly word…. To me, it’s one of the worst words around. Satan uses it in a mighty way and often times prevails…

Comparison….

How many times a day do we compare ourselves to other women? How often do we look around and feel inadequate?

My house is a mess! How does she have everything so clean and right in it’s place?!

How does she have time to make such creative and loving dinners? I barely have time for Hamburger Helper!

She is so skinny and put together! I could be a before picture of a Jenny Craig ad!

Goodness, here she goes again with yet another talent! I haven’t even mastered one!!

And then, there come the even more dangerous comparisons…

Her children are so perfect! Good grades. Good at sports! Well liked! Oh my and so well behaved! I need to get home and whip mine into shape!

Her husband is so good looking and pays so much attention to her! Wish mine could be on a I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter commercial as well!

There are so many comparisons out there and we waste so much energy comparing.

Do you know that when compare ourselves to others and try to be like others, we are actually robbing the Lord of one of his servants?

We are all made in His image…

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:27

God did not make us in the image of Karen the good cook down the street. He made us in His image. An image that is perfect. Perfect for God’s plan…. for us.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

The body of Christ is made of many different parts with different functions and purposes. When we try to imitate another, we are not maintaining our function and instead imitating another’s and our function is then missed out on.

Take our bodies for example… What if our nose decided it wanting to be an ear instead of a nose? We’ll call nose, Ned… Well Ned the Nose didn’t quite think he was good at being a nose. He’s been looking over at Ernie the Ear for a bit and thought, “Wow! Ernie is so good at being an ear! I want to be like Ernie the Ear instead of like me, Ned the Nasty No good Nose!”

We’d now have three ears and not one nose! The body would not work in the fluidity that God had programmed it and made it to be work in. Much like the body of Christ and His plan for the world would not be working as it should if we decide our function isn’t good enough and try to be like someone else.

“Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” – Romans 12:4 -5

“All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines. The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.” – I Corinthians 12:11-12

Instead of comparing, let’s embrace who we are. Who God made us to be. He did a good work in you. ❤

Breast feed? Formula feed? Vaccines? Anti-vax? Cloth diapers? Disposable diapers? Baby food? Schedules? On demand? Public school? Private school? Homeschool?

From day one, moms begin to feel the pressure. The guilt. Am I enough? Will a be enough for the child God has given me? Will I make the correct choices or mess them up royally?

Honest answer. We are all going to screw up our children. No. I’m just kidding. But really. Who in here is perfect? I know I’m not.

We live in a fallen world. We are going to mess up. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to become annoyed and exhausted. We are going to sometimes make the wrong choices. That is part of the motherhood journey.

There are quick points that I want to touch on that hopefully bring encouragement to your mommy heart:

God knew us in the womb. God knew your child in the womb. I know a lot of mamas out there will say “I didn’t carry my child in my womb. This does not pertain to me.” There is more than one definition of womb. The Webster dictionary calls a womb “the place where anything is generated or produced.” and “any cavity containing and enveloping anything.” This leads me to believe that our hearts could be classified just the same as a uterus. I know when we adopted our daughter, as soon as I learned of her and as our relationship has grown, my heart completely envelops an intense love. God has been at the center of that. While she has grown in my heart, God knew. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” (Jeremiah 1:5a) You, sweet mama, were the mother that God himself designed and made for the child you have. He made you with all your quirks and issues to be the mother to the child with all the quirks in issues they have. No matter how much you feel you mess up or how hard it is sometimes, you are the EXACT mama God made for your children.
With all the decisions and ways society tells us to parent, we can become overwhelmed. We feel ill equipped to be the mother we want to be or feel called to be. Wouldn’t it be amazing if when you became a parent, the doctor hands you a manual? Too bad that isn’t reality. Lucky for us, God promises us that He will equip us. “[He will] equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him.” (Hebrews 13:21) Dear sisters, Christ is doing a good work through you as a mama!
We often become so weary as mamas. We become physically weary. Long nights of no sleep. Sickness. Teenagers. Keeping a house. Feeding a baby. Laundry. Cooking. Schooling. The list goes on and on. Our bodies can become physically exhausted and tired. We can become mentally weary. Am I feeding my baby the right foods? Should I be doing something different? Why does my baby always have an ear infection? Those are just from being a mama. That is not even taking in to account being a wife, daughter and friend. Life can feel heavy. Where can we go when we feel so exhausted in different ways? “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29) We can relax and find rest in Christ. He can refresh and renew us daily. His mercies are new every morning.
Even when we rest in Jesus, sometimes we just cannot handle everything being thrown at us. We lash out and it’s often times at those we hold dearest… Our sweet little babes. Then becomes a vicious cycle of lashing out and then mama guilt. Did my anger just cause my two year old to become insecure and have to have counseling through their early adult years? How could I have done that? On and on it goes. We, sweet mamas, need to hold on to God’s grace and extend it to ourselves as well. We are often so hard on ourselves and continue to beat ourselves up. Oh how many sleepless nights I have spent tossing and turning feeling intense guilt over my mommying earlier that day. When we humble ourselves and see that we are weak by ourselves but strong and whole in Christ, a beautiful connection of motherhood in Christ is formed. “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
As we deal with all the big questions that come with being a mama, I want to remind you that God knows our futures and He is faithful. No matter what we decide, Christ already knows the ending. He is already working it out. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) and “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Mamas, give yourself permission to give your worries to the Lord. He already has you covered. “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

Blessings and peace to you this evening, sweet mamas. ❤

lilme

Category: Mom’s Mask on First

Comparison

Mommy Guilt